Lindy West, an award-winning writer and journalist and comedian, hard at work on her first memoir: “Shrill,” out spring 2016.
She has been using that word to describe herself and her experiences for years, everything from “Hello, I Am Fat” to “What It Feels Like To Be A Fat Person On A Plane,” and now, in her latest column for The Guardian, what it feels like to be a fat bride–and a deliriously happy one, at that.
For her wedding Lindy wore a one-of-a-kind bridal gown which she created alongside collaborator and friend Mark Mitchell.
"As a big, ungainly, outsider-ish kid, when I thought about marriage it was mostly about the relationship aspect of it, more than the wedding itself. I remember being really excited to find someone who just thought I was the best. And I’d think they were the best, and then we’d be best friends and live in a house together and build a family as fun as my family was. It was very chaste (of course) and idealistic, because the narrative for girls is that you just hang around and wait to be “chosen” and then you belong to somebody and you live happily ever after. There isn’t room for more nuanced concerns about the creepy proprietary nature of that relationship model, or the breadth of what fulfillment really means for women."
"But that’s what society fed me, so that’s what I thought I wanted. As I got a little older and realized where my body placed me in the social hierarchy (i.e. low), this sickening feeling crept in. I realized that that story might not apply to me—I wasn’t the kind of girl that boys chose (honestly, I often didn’t feel like I qualified as a girl at all)—and for a while, especially during late high school and early college, I felt really resentful, like I’d been sold a false bill of goods. Not having access to any alternative narratives, I assumed I’d be alone and unwanted forever." Lindy West explained.
"The relationship I have now, which is built on deep mutual respect and admiration rather than externally imposed beauty standards, owes a lot to the perspective I gained from that process of disillusionment. Finding someone who truly complements and enhances your whole self is so much more fulfilling than scrambling to own or be owned by the “hottest” person who will have you. Aham [my husband] and I are a power couple, and it’s so much better than anything I could have imagined, as a kid, under that old paradigm."