A groom and his best friend have been close since middle school, and the groom chose his friend to be his best man at his wedding.
"Fast forward ten years to this past weekend, at Doug and his fiance's 300 person wedding. Big church, religious ceremony, the whole nine," the best man shared.
"He gives me the ring to hold when we're waiting in the wings — I'm supposed to keep it in my pocket. We were up drinking pretty late, last night as a free man style, and we're all jittery and a little hungover on top of the wedding nerves, so Doug whispers to be careful with it."
This instantly makes the hungover best man nervous and he starts "envisioning fumbling and dropping the ring into a crack in the ground or something." Without thinking, he inexplicably put it in his mouth. The groom noticed, horrified, and told him to take it out of his mouth. "And as I did, I had one of those half-barf hiccup-belches, and I involuntarily swallowed."
"The show went on, and we did this weird thing where I pretended to hand him the ring and he pretended to put it on the bride's finger," he continued, adding that they're going to redo the whole thing next month with the ring.
"I've been sifting through my feces for the last two days, and the really best part is that, due to a combination of stress and rich wedding weekend food/boozing, I'm completely constipated," he said.