Teen Excluded From Aunt’s Wedding Due to Disability

Teen Excluded From Aunt’s Wedding Due to Disability
Thu 21-07-2016

A Reddit user, Zinogirl took to the relationships thread to ask for advice after her aunt excluded her from a wedding!

All because she has a condition that requires her to use crutches.

Zinogirl wrote that everyone in her family except for her was invited to her aunt's wedding. When the aunt was asked why, she apparently told Zinogirl that it was basically for her own good.

Here’s the post:

My aunt didn't invite me to her wedding while inviting my brothers and other cousins. I'm just very upset now because my aunt's wedding is soon and I learned that I can't go to the wedding because she didn't invite me. I have a physical disability and I need crutches but I can handle myself. The invitation to our family says my parents and my brothers. My dad talked to my aunt and she thought that the venue isn't friendly and comfortable for me and that's why she didn't invite me. If that's the only reason, isn't that something I should decide? Maybe I can handle myself in that venue. Maybe my brother and dad will help me if I needed help. She excluded me because I have a disability. My parents told me that I need to understand that it's her wedding and she gets to decide who comes and I can't be upset and I should respect her decision.

Dominick Evans, a filmmaker and activist who works for the Center for Disability Rights says:

"This situation is unfortunately more common then you'd think," he explains. "Family exclusion is one of the worst most hurtful forms of betrayal disabled people often must face. If the people who are supposed to love you the most and unconditionally are unwilling to accommodate your disability, then who will? Her aunt could have easily scheduled her wedding in a more accessible setting, and included her niece. That would have been the right thing to do. Making excuses about the venue making her uncomfortable is just a smokescreen. Not knowing the aunt, it is hard to say why she is doing it, but she most likely doesn't want her niece to be seen. Many family members see disabled people as a burden or an embarrassment, and this aunt seems to not want her niece to be present implying she may find her niece's disability embarrassing."

"While the consequences of exclusion by family can lead to diminished levels of self-esteem and can even lead to internalized ableism or the belief the disabled individual is a burden to family and friends, she luckily seems to have a great head on her shoulders," he goes on to say. "She was very strong for confronting her aunt, and having the support of her brothers creates a united front that says excluding anyone in the family is not okay. I hope that the aunt takes her niece seriously. It is a horrible misconception that those of us with disabilities are jealous when we see others doing something it is assumed we cannot do. Really, most of us find another way to do things, even with a disability."

Source: Teen Vogue